HAPPY!

People have been asking me recently how I am, the usual kamusta and anong balita sa yo. For the longest time I thought that this was the hardest question to answer. It's a social question that people take for granted, I always used to say. Probably because I myself have found it very difficult to respond to. Every time I am asked that, I always stop to ponder, kamusta nga ba ako? And do they really want to know how I am? Then they'd better sit down with me for an hour or two so I can tell how I really am. We'll see if they can come up with other questions.

That was then. Now, when people text me or call me to say their hellos and I miss yous and kamusta ka na, isa lang ang sagot ko: eto, masaya. With an exclamation point. I never even skip a beat.

They find it incredulous. Me, no complaints, no misgivings, no musings about the struggle of life, no deep imaginings about the past and the future? Not possible.

Hey, I'm not perfect. Far from it. But I have learned a thing or two these past few months, lessons that changed me somewhat. It's only now that I realize just how much.

I learned that there is really no use stressing--about the lovelife you still don't have and the amazing guy who's either taken or gay, the fact that you can't drive, the perfect job that seems to elude you at the moment.

Life is fun. It doesn't take much to be happy. You can't and shouldn't worry about the things that you don't have. Because God gives you what you need when you need it.

I've learned that it's okay to lose the person you love, or to not be with the person you want to be with right now. You don't own anything or anyone and you have no right over any person, even if you like him, are drawn to him, or love him or her with all your heart.

Love isn't possession. Those who think it is do not truly love.

Love isn't exclusive. Anybody can love anyone, single, married, dead or alive, friend or stranger. I can love my dog just as much as I love my mother, and nobody has the right to question that love. Love is everywhere and can be found in anything and anyone.

Knowing this gives you freedom to love even more, without fear or inhibition. To love more fully each and every single day, because you know that there is a possibility, no matter how small, that one day it will all be gone. He might die, or leave you for another, or just move on. And you can't place blame on anyone. There is no one to blame.

I think I'm happy, truly happy, because I've learned fully the importance of acceptance, as well as letting go. And it's not just about love, lest people think I'm still hung up on my past failed relationship (please, that was the first dead weight I released, soo long ago).

It's about everything in life. Every little experience.

I'm thankful for my semi-bumhood. It was cathartic. Now I'm shedding my wrinkled skin, and I can breathe easier.